I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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