wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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