What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
