Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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