Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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