The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
