i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
