Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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