so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
