Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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