You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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