Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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