First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
