There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i drank out of a bidet.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You've changed since you got that strap on
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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