I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
