look no pants
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
