he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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