I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
