so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
