I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
