This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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