I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
