I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
