Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
