is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
