Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
