didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
