Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
