You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm lost and stupid without you.
the condom got lost in my hair
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
