WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
