what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
