I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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