Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
