hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
