im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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