BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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