But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
