For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
