Plan B is the new Plan A
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
