Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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