Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
