North Korea, Best Korea!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
