I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
