I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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