so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
