He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
