areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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