im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he shaved USA in his pubs
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Vodka?
Forever.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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