Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
