they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
