Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
