so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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