Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
