shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
